Guns N’ Roses frontman Axl Rose may as well be known as “the boy who cried Chinese Democracy†since he’s been talking about this comeback album for the last 15 years and refuses to let anyone forget about it. Well, our collective prayers have been answered since November 23rd marks the official album release date and it’s right in time for Santa to drop it in your stocking. And if the current economic climate means slim pickings for you and yours this holiday season, don’t you fret. At least you can count on retarded GNR-related news bits for some much-needed holiday cheer.
Oh, it gets better. Remember last spring when soft drink Dr Pepper went on the record and bet against the release date of the long-awaited Chinese Democracy album before the end of 2008 because that’s how ludicrous they felt Axl Rose’s claims were? Well, now that Rose finally got his act together it seems Dr Pepper lost their bet and is making good on their promise of free beverages to everyone in America. To get the good stuff, be sure to go to the official Dr Pepper website on November 23rd to fill in your personal information and be a part of rock n’ roll history. And in about 4-6 weeks you’ll get a coupon for your free 20-ounce drink.
The suits at Dr Pepper didn’t just pull this one out of thin air in the name of pure, comedy gold. Marketing director Jaxie Alt actually released the following statement on the GNR initiative:
It took a little patience to perfect Dr Pepper’s special mix of 23 ingredients, which our fans have come to know and love. So we completely understand and empathize with Axl’s quest for perfection –- for something more than the average album. We know once it’s released, people will refer to it as “Dr Pepper for the ears” because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds — an instant classic.
So when you ask yourself “Who are the ad wizards that came up with that one?” the answer would likely be people like Jaxie Alt. But if you ask me, either someone is delusional, someone is stuck in the early 90’s, someone’s itching for front row tickets to Axl’s next show, or possibly all three.
If all of this wasn’t hysterical enough, it’s been purported that this offer has been extended to everyone with the exception of former GNR members Slash and Buckethead. I have no idea why they specifically have been shunned (and not other former members), but it only ups the laugh meter. Also, apparently neither the current band members nor the record company had anything to do with this and Rose remains pleasantly surprised and amused by the promotion. He said:
We are surprised and very happy to have the support of Dr Pepper with our album Chinese Democracy, as for us, this came totally out of the blue. If there is any involvement with this promotion by our record company or others, we are unaware of such at this time. And as some of Buckethead’s performances are on our album, I’ll share my Dr Pepper with him.
So there you have it, folks. Only in America do we give our people the freedom of speech and the right to be as delusional as you want. If this news bit doesn’t make you feel prouder to be an American, I really don’t know what else will.
If you can’t wait until the 23rd, you can hear their new single here
Guns N’ Roses: website
Dr Pepper: website
“The right to be as delusional as you want.” Truth!
I can’t wait to hear about what a flop this album will be.
Dude, even bad press is still good press. Kinda like making the “Worst Dressed” list in magazines is still an honor. I really think this album will do well and he’ll be famous again for being a joke. You can’t get anymore utterly American than that
Fuck this album. Seriously. What a waste of time and perfectly good discs that could have been spent on real bands that matter.
Haha, dude, I’m just glad because you never know… maybe GNR will reunite for a tour. I’d pay top dollar for that shit. Just on the way home tonight “Don’t Cry” came on the radio and I wanted to cry… classic GNR is just so effin good
See but that’s the thing, this isn’t Guns. It is Rose.
There is no Slash, or Duff.
Yeah, but is he allowed to play original GNR songs on tour with new members, since he wrote lyrics? Or is that “illegal?”
I’m hoping they set aside their beef and put on fake smiles in the name of a huge cash pay-out for a sold out reunion tour. The Police did it, why can’t these guys?