popwreckoning

Fans or Freaks

Fans are a vital element in what makes the music business work. Without them the industry would implode on itself, as is evident by the current state of the industry.

Despite being such a necessity, fans are a bit looked down on, and not just they way you might think. Everyone pictures big shots in suits treating focus groups like lab rats and devising marketing plans to trick the lowest common denominator of music fans into buying he next big thing. I know all too well that this is going on. I wrote a marking plan in college that made me feel so dirty I had to take a shower… or 12.

There’s another side of it that doesn’t begin to tackle the fans who’s letters are delegated to the “psycho fan mail” box or voicemail message that require calls to their local police department out of concern for their well being.

People in power look down on the act of being a fan, even when it’s someone they know personally. Never mind the necessity of fans to make the business work, you would just expect anyone who chose to spend their life working in music to actually enjoy and appreciate it. It’s like they’ve been on this side of things for so long that they’ve forgotten what it’s like to really enjoy music.

For example, I buy records the day they’re released. I travel to see the bands that I love. Not only do I actually go to see bands perform, I even get there early enough to see the opening act, even when I’m not going just for the opener.

My coworkers do not.

When I come in recounting a 36-hour cross country trip to see a band or that I was out until sunrise after a show, they stare at me like a sideshow freak and make snide comments. I work in a casual office of alleged music fans but my friends with stuffy corporate jobs get a better reception to the recaps of their weekends.

It seems the only position lower than the assistant, is an assistant who is out about their fan status at work.

-The Assistant

If you have any questions about what I do, the workings of the music business, or just the perspective of an insider, then please post them in the comment section. I’ll do my best to answer them. On any given day I work with management, labels, book agents, publicists, venues, marketing people, promoters, radio, web masters, and loads more, so I have plenty of dirt to dish.

Beware: Assistants in Power

Assistants may be the definition of show biz losers, but the job does have its perks. Aside from getting first crack at the CD’s and free tickets that get sent to our boss, we are the gatekeepers. We control everything. And I do mean everything.

Everyone is vying for the attention of our boss, and the sole purpose of the assistant is to decide who gets through and who doesn’t. Before you can get anywhere, you have to be able to answer two questions.

“Who may I say is calling?”

“And what is this regarding?”

If you can’t answer them coherently and politely, then you’re going to hit a roadblock. Every assistant will give the message to his or her boss (because we all value our job, demeaning as it sometimes may be), it’s all a matter of timeliness and context. If a message is given at the wrong time in the wrong way, like when Boss Man is distracted by a poor selling show or a car in the shop, the message will be forgotten.

Assistants don’t just have power over the outsides that try to get to our boss; we also have power over our own boss. We book travel, rental cars, and appointments. You can easily be assigned to a middle seat on the last row of the plane and drive a subcompact with no GPS if you don’t keep us happy and relatively well paid.

This is nowhere near my style, but if an assistant were criminally inclined and especially slighted by the man who signs the paycheck, assistants hold all of the vital information not just on the boss, but if it’s anything like my office, also of clients and their families. That includes addresses, phone numbers, credit card numbers and social security numbers. For obvious reasons, the boss must find the delicate balance of barking orders and appreciating the assistant’s work.

Of course, this power trip should never go to the assistant’s head, less they end up like a former coworker. One of my fellow assistants became too comfortable and believed herself to be quite indispensable to our boss after five years of service. She was very mistaken and found herself unceremoniously fired by email.

- The Assistant

If you have any questions about what I do, the workings of the music business, or just the perspective of an insider, then please post them in the comment section. I’ll do my best to answer them. On any given day I work with management, labels, book agents, publicists, venues, marketing people, promoters, radio, web masters, and loads more, so I have plenty of dirt to dish.

I thought for sure that I was destined to be a show biz loser, living a life of “what if?” Everyone tells you that the only way to get into the music business is to know someone or have a chance meeting in a meet cute befitting the cheesiest of romantic comedies. I knew no one. I didn’t do internships in college. I hate using network as a verb. I never stumbled across someone important in a coffee shop.

I was surely screwed. Should I start practicing, “Would you like fries with that?”

Then magically I found a job. I found it through an online job listing which my professors said could never happen. I got a real job where I walked past gold and platinum records everyday and take calls from rock stars.

Did it happen? Did I escape show biz loserdom?

Hardly.

In the music business, as in life, no matter how big you are there is always someone bigger out there. In my job of lowly assistant, everyone is bigger than me. I take orders from everyone and dictate to no one.

I get star struck when the late 90’s two hit wonder calls, when I have a 45 minutes conference call with a 80’s pop star about how to use Facebook, or meet a star client on the second day of work… even though I’m not a big fan of any of them.

Will I ever get over the awe factor? Will this ever be commonplace?

My boss has been in the business close to 30 year and has met practically everyone who’s everyone, so he’s not easily wowed by anyone. That is, until Carly Simon’s manager called. She was interested in working with a client and requested some CD’s. I had the CD’s out of storage, packaged and stamped before he was done writing the note to include. A note, I should point out, that had to be revised and rewritten no less than four times.

So maybe I’m not the only loser? …at that moment anyway.

- The Assistant

If you have any questions about what I do, the workings of the music business, or just the perspective of an insider, then please post them in the comment section. I’ll do my best to answer them. On any given day I work with management, labels, booking agents, publicists, venues, marketing people, promoters, radio, web masters, and loads more, so I have plenty of dirt to dish.